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It’s the first of the year again (well it’s the 12th but in mom world that’s close enough) and everyone has completed their list of New Year’s Resolutions.
Most lists include lofty, non-specific goals and resemble something like the following: Get in shape, Gym every day, Run a marathon, Eat right, Put the phone down, More quality time with kids, More Date Nights, Sharpen skills. In other words….Have It All.
It seems like everyone else has it all; Facebook posts about promotions, sunny vacations, time for running, date nights, girls nights, kids sports. If everyone else has it all why can’t we?
Mothers in particular struggle with this issue. A stay at home mom with oatmeal in her hair and “Let It Go” stuck in her head longs for adult conversation and a piece of her former professional life. A working mom rushing home to start her second job of caring for her family longs to have more quality time with her kids and partner. Both covet more time for themselves.
We are left with an on-going juggling act where everyone else’s needs come first and ours fall to the wayside. It’s easy for us to be left feeling unfulfilled and burnt out.
Last year I was coming out of the fog of being home with a baby and longed for something to reconnect me with the outside world and a piece of my former identity. I was intrigued by stories of Mommy Bloggers, former professionals/now stay at home moms who had created a successful brand by working their own hours and on their own terms. They achieved self-fulfillment while still finding the time for their children. I wanted to have that balance just like them.
I launched my blog Kick It Like Mom in the hopes of sharing my expertise and passion around playing sports and connect with a community of like-minded women. There were hours and hours of planning and creating everything I envisioned the blog could become. The content was fun to create and I attempted to keep the site updated with information from around the fitness world. Despite the positive feedback I was receiving I quickly became overwhelmed and was being pulled away from enjoying time with my daughter.
Discouragement set in as I realized I could not have it all.
Taking a step back to reflect on what I really wanted; for the blog, for myself, for my family was exactly what I needed. Reflecting on the reasons I decided to stay at home helped me realize that I’m still in the throws of early motherhood and raising my daughter is my top priority. I wouldn’t trade this time with her for anything! Time for my husband comes a close second (because he can mostly take care of himself). Playing soccer is my passion and is non-negotiable. I had to be realistic about how much time was left for blogging. I restructured the blog to be more sustainable this year and mapped out smaller, incremental goals to it grow over time.
I am happy with my “As good as it gets right now” balance and that “Having My All”. I can only do what I can do and that’s okay! Things will change as my kids grow older and priorities will shift.
So can we really “Have it All” and find a balance? Yes, but in our own way and not likely in the same way as our friends, colleagues or neighbors. Whether you’re a SAHM or Working Mom, whether you’re setting your yearly fitness goals, professional goals, family goals or all of the above- keep some perspective and cut yourself some slack! Focus on what you do have and what you realistically can achieve. Keep the bigger picture in mind then map out the smaller, more achievable goals to get there. Achieving goals big or small leads to personal fulfillment which feels pretty damn good.
Here’s to a year of accomplishment, happiness and having YOUR all!
What type of goals have you set for yourself this year? How are you working towards them? Let’s share!